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Double Take: Fear of Networking
The Double Take column looks at a single topic from an African and Chinese perspective. This month we discuss how we can handle fear of networking with people.
 丨VOL. 14 November 2022 ·2022-11-08


Deal With It  

Liu Jiaying 

A 28-year-old teacher in Beijing 

Fear of networking is a topic I am very familiar with. When I was a child, I was so used to playing alone that my aunt, who was working in a hospital, once secretly suggested my mother to take me to the hospital to check for autism. In kindergarten, I was labelled “silent” and “loner.” In elementary school, my teachers appointed classmates to talk to me after class, for fear that I would be isolated. 

But my reason for being aloof was not because I resisted communicating with other people. I had no problem interacting with my best friends - I always had close friends, though very few. I think I didn’t like talking and behaving in a way that was against my nature in social settings: they seemed boring and meaningless to me. 

I wanted to overcome the fear during my school years and became more involved with various people, such as classmates with totally different personalities, bad-tempered teachers, and distant relatives I didn’t like. It worked and gradually I could easily interact with others, sometime even becoming the focus of the crowd. But I knew that I was not happy when socialising with people I didn’t like. 

Now years after I started my career, I have become more capable of handling various social occasions, such as getting along with colleagues and leaders, and getting through unpleasant gatherings where I am persuaded to drink. I have made peace with networking. I have realised that it is not a negative trait I need to avoid. In a way, it represents sincerity and kindness, qualities missing in many people of the modern time.  

The fear of networking is related to me being true to my heart. As for friends I like, I don’t have the fear: I will take the initiative to ask them out to play and do my best to be good to them. But to people I don’t like, I cannot say flattery words, I will not muscle in circles that I don’t belong to, and I’ll sternly refuse those who try to persuade me to drink. Compared with flattering people in meaningless social interactions, I am more content with a quiet weekend spent with a good book, a cup of tea, and a couple of friends. 

 

Caution Is Needed  

Michael Olugbode  

A 52-year-old Nigerian journalist  

Growing up, my parents told me to be afraid of strangers. The fear has been with me all through the years, so much so that I find it difficult to be at ease with a new person, and only open up to strangers gradually. 

Networking has obvious benefits. It has greatly improved commerce and has created bridges between cultures. People now see that society is interdependent and that we need each other to cope with the difficulties in the world and perhaps enjoy the good things together. 

Networking has brought those who used to be strangers closer and even into our homes. Professionals in different cities, countries and even continents connect with each other through networking, and exchange ideas and work together to improve themselves.  

As a journalist, networking has assisted me a lot in getting things done. I have colleagues in newsroom who help with contacts and sometimes enrich my story ideas. Also, through networking I am connected with newsmakers and news sources. It has always been helpful in getting things done.  

I remember a few years ago when I planned on traveling to London for a seminar, it was through contacts with my schoolmates from 10 years ago that made things became easier for me. They gave me suggestions on how to apply for visa, picked me at the airport and showed me around. It was perhaps the best travel experience I ever had.  

But there is also a dark side of networking. I have heard stories of many getting the wrong end of the stick in networking. Many have been swindled, and have regretted not following the parents’ advice of not trusting a stranger! I have also lost some money due to a phony investment scheme introduced through social networking.  

I have been taught a lesson, but should I say I would never make a leap again? Definitely not. I just have to be more careful and make a calculated leap, so that if I fall, it won’t be disastrous.  

  

 

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