Exposure Helps

Bai Lu

A 28-year-old AIoT researcher in Beijing

My understanding about social phobia started with the term “social emotion” I learned in my psychology courses, which refers to the subjective experience of an individual in interpersonal communication. People with social phobia have emotional experiences that are uncomfortable, unnatural, stressful or even scary, something a normal person usually would not have.

There are quite a few people suffering from social phobia today. Many have to turn to psychological counselors or clinical psychologists for relief, and some even need medicine to maintain a normal daily life. In the United States, social phobia is regarded as the third-biggest threat to mental health after depression and alcoholism. In East Asian countries including China, the incidence and severity of social phobia are no less acute, because in a society that advocates collectivism, we care more about how others view us. Many young Chinese people, including me, think they suffer from social phobia to a certain extent.

From my point of view, although social phobia will become an increasingly common phenomenon with the development of the society, it is still important to find solutions considering the great effect it has on personal development and the vitality of the society in general.

A cure may be difficult in extreme cases such as those who grow up with violence at home or bullying at school. The unpleasant experience in childhood can cast a shadow on their social interactions with others. In this case, it may take a lifetime’s effort to deal with against social phobia.

In most cases, however, the situation is less severe, and the cause is just lack of social interactions due to factors such as lack of company for only children and weak interpersonal connections in big cities. Many young people do not feel anxious about their social life when working in big cities, but anxiety kicks in when they return to their hometowns, where interpersonal relationships with family members and relatives are strong.

In my own case, as an only child, I have been strictly protected since childhood, and my behavior such as making friends is always under the strict supervision of my parents. This makes me feel insecure when socializing with others, because I feel that there are eyes watching me from all around me.

To overcome social phobia, therefore, I believe it helps to expose ourselves more to social interactions. After all, social abilities are not a born gift, but something we attain from practice.

Support Is Needed

Violet Avoid Madzikanda

A 30-year-old Zimbabwean journalist and filmmaker in Beijing

Different situations and conditions contribute to social phobia. In most cases that I came across in Zimbabwe, negative experiences and having an appearance or condition that draws attention lead to social phobia.

In the case of Rudo, my 15-year-old female student who wouldn’t speak in the class, eat in front of others or even use a public restroom, I discovered that her home experiences had led to her having extreme low self-esteem. Her stepmother would yell at her even when she had done things well.

Rudo said that she couldn’t differentiate between right and wrong. She always denigrated herself because of what she was exposed to in her day-to-day life at home. In that regard, there was no way she would freely express herself at school since she had been led to believe that no one liked her.

In the case of Tanaka, a man aged 28 who lived with albinism and whom I met when I was filming a documentary in the Zambezi Region of Zimbabwe, isolation provided an escape from the pain of being stared at and called names because of his skin condition. That was three years after I had left the teaching profession to join journalism.

Tanaka had submitted a short story to our magazine, a story that was beautiful and unique. When we decided to visit him, he wouldn’t talk to us. He later on wrote about his hypersensitivity to criticism. He thought we were critics wanting to demoralize him. We had almost given up on pursuing him when he finally agreed for an interview, where he spoke about suicide attempts because he didn’t have friends. He was lonely but scared of going out to socialize because of the fear of being judged.

From that moment, we decided to open a support group for people with social phobia, where we encouraged them to write a journal and keep track of their personal lives, set priorities in life, carefully managing their time and energy as well as interacting with others in the group.

There are many factors that lead to social phobia. Based on my personal experiences, it is possible to overcome it and it is everyone’s collective responsibility to make sure that everyone is comfortable in the society, by not laughing at and judging others.