Good looks and a steady job may not be enough in China's increasingly competitive marriage market. More men feel forced to own a home before they can get down on one knee to propose. Rising real estate prices complicate matters, and may cause some men to abandon their marriage ambitions entirely. Writer Penny Kamanga discusses how property has also gained new prominence in Malawi, while Zhang Xiang, an editor with Xinhuanet.com, gives the lowdown on how this pressure plays out in Beijing.

The Three C's

 by Penny Kamanga

For a very long time in Malawi, the way to get a good woman was through three C's: Cash, Car and Cell phone. Today, a fourth C exists. It stands for Condo, which is what is considered a good home.

You might have the original three C's down pat, but the first thing that comes to a woman's mind is, "Does he have condo I can decorate?" A recent survey asked men what they would buy first if they had a million kwacha (Malawi's local currency). The catch was, if a man said he would buy a car instead of a house, that man was not considered financially stable. Women loved this survey.

Property is important because Malawi's population is growing. Everyone is desperate to own a home. Landlords have become very rude, and often raise rents at random. If they don't like your lifestyle, they can decide to smoke you out. When you own land or a beautiful house, you are the man. It becomes easier for a man to ask a woman out once he buys a home.

As for me, the pressure to own a house has been massive. It's difficult to make a choice between purchasing a car or building a house, especially when it means being chased by a landlord while driving away in a posh automobile. When it comes to defining wealth, it's those with property who prevail.

I have always known that it would be better to marry someone who has property, and lose my worries about landlords who are rude and unpredictable. Do I have a list of marriage criteria? Oh yes, I do, but property isn't at the top of it. It's an important factor, but I want first and foremost a man who is honest, loving and committed. After that, someone who is ambitious – someone who, if he was asked by those conducting a survey what he would do with a million kwacha, he would choose buying a house as his priority. Then I would truly know that he is stable and can take care of me. 

At the bottom of my list is handsomeness. The fact is, there are many handsome men, but men who are handsome do not always care about their spouses. That said I might care about three C's – that is, a condo, a car and cash. Having a cell phone doesn't have to be at the top of the list.

Marry a Man, Not a House

by Zhang Xiang

I used to consider owning a house a must for my future husband. Men without good finances weren't appealing to me.

After graduating university, I met my first boyfriend. I loved him, but I loved his money, too. Our romance only lasted several months and ended in my heartbreak.

This finally woke me up. I began to rethink my ideas about relationships, and the life that I wished to live in the future. I realized that money or a house can ensure a comfortable life, but never a warm heart. Mutual understanding and appreciation are much more reliable for that.

It was not an easy job to get over the man who left me, but I grew much stronger and more independent than before. I learned to get along with men without losing myself. I could see the charm and potential of someone who couldn't afford a house. Home ownership is no longer a point of attraction for me.

It's been more than a year since the split. I've met other, new men, but have remained single. I no longer feel any rush to get married and prefer to take my time to see whether I mesh well with another person.

Yet something still bothers me.

My parents and relatives want me to marry someone who already owns a house. They don't want to see me working that hard for a place to live. I totally understand. We don't have much savings and the housing prices in Beijing are far beyond our reach. Marrying someone who can't afford a house either means we'll have to spend 20 years or more paying off loans.

This is why I originally refused to date men who weren't home owners. And I believe most girls have this on their list of marriage criteria for the same reason. Marrying rich would be a short cut to avoiding years of struggle. So, though I've changed my mind, I'm not turning a deaf ear to my parents' opinions totally. Sometimes I imagine my future married life sans house. It makes me think of the TV series Naked Wedding.

Some of my friends have married rich and seem to be living a happy life. Others are dating guys who are striving for a house, and they seem hopeful. I don't know what kind of life is waiting for me, but I'm ready to see.