What makes women happy? Is it power, money, love or sex? According to a survey carried out in China by Yueji Self, a Chinese monthly covering women's psychological health, personal fulfillment ranks highest for more than 60 percent of respondents. About 22.5 percent surveyed prioritized love as their primary happiness-maker, while 2.2 percent chose sex. Only 0.6 percent chose power. Cape Verdean Ana Margarida Carvalho, a postgraduate student at Beijing Normal University, and Wu Jia, a freelance interpreter, discuss their views on what factors contribute to women's happiness.

Hunting for Happiness  

by Ana Margarida Carvalho

As we mature, what makes us happy keeps changing. In the real world, we gradually understand that we are individuals connected in a societal web. My experience tells me that this web directly impacts wellbeing.

For some, happiness is a day-to-day thing, while for others it is a state impossible to achieve. Surely with these differences in perception, our needs also influence it. So, what does it actually take for us to be happy?

The requirements come in all forms, ranging from education, a good job and progress, to having a sense of security and safety. But mostly, I feel that happiness is primarily connected to health. Many people I know have witnessed so many early, unnecessary deaths. There are so many suffering from preventable diseases due to lack of means. The psychological stress of cultural obligations and issues that women grapple with daily is overwhelming. And I see that our own happiness comes with health. Given the option, the first thing that most of us do is confirm our health statuses at a doctor. Certifying the physical leads to a mental boost. When in good health, we can accomplish so many things, from achieving a good quality of life to fulfilling our dreams.

Apart from this key base for happiness, autonomy is another prerequisite for contentment. If we can decide without interference what is good for our personal and professional lives, preconceived notions of womanhood are left behind in the dust.

In African developing countries, a woman's daily life is characterized by unhappy situations, with others deciding what she needs and what she must do with her time. This cultural construct can change, though, with education. In my view, this can promote happiness. If anything, it at least helps maintain balance between determinants of happiness.

The consequence of this change, I believe, is professional success. Paid work promotes financial independence. A lack of this in many cases results in domination, mistreatment and feelings of abandonment. It affects women's relationships. Countless women stay quiet and unhappy in an effort to ensure their children's education, or to avoid being again a parent's burden. Others simply believe they have no other recourse.

Ultimately, happiness is not a far-off notion. It starts from inside us, in our physical and mental balance, which influences our autonomy and consequently our power in relationships. Jobs in turn define independence. And so, happiness requires us to look carefully.

Listening to Your Inner Voice

by Wu Jia

I told my husband the other day that I'm happier now than I've ever been. He smiled, probably out of gratitude for the recognition. And while yes, finding my Mr. Right in my late 20s has enhanced my happiness, finally listening to my inner voice is what helped me to feel more in control of my life. This has been my greatest achievement.

When I was younger, I tried to please everyone, have more friends and acquire more credentials in order to find a sense of achievement. I can't deny the importance of my efforts, but real happiness must be developed from within.

Following my heart has taught me to appreciate the beauty of "less is more." I lead a simple life with the man I love, enjoying my work, associating with close friends, and spending spare time on my hobby, spiritual development. These are what now define my expectations in life.

Life is all about choices. I've learned that, as Buddhism dictates, "what self believes about self" is of greater importance than "what others think about self." I make decisions based on my likes and dislikes; it's no use at all to please everyone but myself. With that belief and a spirit of self-reliance, I made the choice to be a freelance interpreter. It's what I like and always want to do. The work offers me a real sense of self-fulfillment. 

My personal development, though, is tied to a particular Buddhist story. It tells of a Buddhist master and a young monk, who was puzzled about how to practice spirituality. "There is a temple ritual to distribute oranges before Spring Festival," begins the master. "When the oranges are divided into piles with big and small ones mixed, we choose from them one by one. When your turn arrives, why should you pick one randomly?" Because, he continues, "If you purposely take a bigger fruit, you are greedy. However, if you take a smaller orange, your greed is grounded in desire for good reputation." The inspiration I draw from this paradox is to take everything as it is and to act the way I am.

Happiness, to me, is about focusing my time and energy on those I value most. With more attention to my inner voice, I look forward to a happier personal future.